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"Your grades are only higher because I’m lazy."
"I’m not vain. I’m just recovering from years and years of low self-esteem."
-Why I’m taking so many selfies. (via missmirandaaraee)
"Mom: Wake up.
Me: *Maybe if I pretend I’m dead she’ll go away*"

I enjoy the simple things in life.

Like recklessly spending my cash and being a disappointment to my family.